C’est La Vie

I know, it’s been awhile. I had my 20th birthday (woo-ish) over a week ago, and let’s just say it was eventful for multiple reasons. There are only about two weeks left until summer break and I need to find a job. Ick. Who has a job anymore? Ohhh right, I need to get one. I also got to see Colin Meloy live in solo concert Friday night, and it was fantastic. It was a late birthday present, although we got the tickets in March, so I guess it was really an early present. Anyway, it was phenomenal, and I highly suggest anyone who is nearby one of his tour stops to go and watch.

I really feel like writing, but not really a blog entry, more of a story or a poem. Probably a poem. And I really want to travel, get the hell out of here, meet new people and see old friends who actually care and love me and whom I miss dearly.

And I must end with this question: Am I the ONLY person who thinks Heidi Montag of The Hills is really not attractive? I can’t be the only one!

1) I’m on David Bowie

2) Across the Universe is on one of our campus movie channels…and I cannot. stop. watching. it.

3) I have two papers due on Wednesday and they’re both torturing me.

4) I get to go home on Friday for Spring Break and I’m actually kind of excited to have a week of private showers and my own room with a great big bed and home-cooked food! Mmmmmm.

5) I’m so freaking tired.

6) I made a big realization today that I think is going to have a big, positive impact on both my life, and hopefully the world….eventually. But we’ll have to see how things play out.

7) I made chocolate chip cinnamon coffee cake stuff today via Pillsbury… and it was amazing.

I actually really really like using a Mac now. That may change, but for now, I think it’s fine and dandy.

9) My birthday is next month. Eek!

10) And…um..my oldest sister is turning 28 on Friday. Holy cow. And my other sister is moving into a house with her fiance in two weeks. Crazy.

I’ve been sick for the past few days, and it hasn’t been pleasant. I’m finally feeling better, thank Buddha. Or whomever I should thank. I had a midterm this morning that was ridiculously easy, which I guess is good, it just felt like a waste of time.. Oh well, maybe I’m just a good English major? Yeah, we’ll go with that.

My father is allegedly coming up to visit this weekend, joy of all joys. But he’s supposed to be bringing me the laptop. Eek. That means I have to see him. Bah. Oh! So tomorrow is the first day Stephen Colbert tickets are available to students for free, and you best believe I’ll be in line to get that. He comes and speaks the week before my birthday, and the week after Colin Meloy of The Decemberists is playing a gig here as part of his solo tour!!! And Lucas, being the nice boy he is, bought us tickets as a birthday present for me. YAY! I’m very excited. You’d best believe I’m showing up like three hours early to be right smack dab in front of that stage.

Next Friday starts Spring Break, and I must admit, I’ll be a little bit happy to be away for a while. But it’s just over a week, really not a big deal at all. Hopefully I’ll get to do a whole lot of nothin’. That would be fantastic. As for now, I have to catch up on all the homework/classwork I missed from being sick. Joyous.

Well, tis the day after Valentine’s Day. Nothing much happened with me, just had a nice time with the boyfriend. He got me a singing Belle doll (that I love!!!) and a Flight of the Conchords poster. And he’s taking me shopping tomorrow and buying me whatever I want. What a good boy! OH! But! My sister got engaged!!! It’s so cute; I’m extremely happy for her. Tonight my roommate, one of our friends, a floormate and her little sister are drinking and are on their way to a club with lots of other drunken college students. Not so much my scene. I like to go out and dance, but… I don’t know, not tonight.

On another random note, I’m getting a new laptop. It’s going to be a Mac. Which is weird. And I rip on Macs a lot, so I don’t know quite how I feel about this yet… But, I’ve already decided on a name. My former laptop’s name was Sebastian, in honor of Ryan Phillipe in Cruel Intentions. This time, the computer shall be named David Bowie. That way when I’m using it I can say “I’m on David Bowie.” Yeah, you’re jealous. And I have a shit ton of homework to do and I’m not looking forward to any of it. Stupid homework. But I have a new distraction! Lucas found it; it’s a computer-based fake Guitar Hero game called Frets on Fire. You download it, and then you download the Guitar Hero games (thank you Bizarro), import them in somehow (Lucas did it) and then you play Guitar Hero songs via your keyboard. All for free! And let me tell you, I am Kurt Cobain incarnate. “Heart-Shaped Box” is my bitch.

Moll Flanders needs to be read; my French essay needs to be corrected and expanded upon; I need to read and study for Hawthorne; start my essays for 18th Century Novel and Violence in Pop Culture. Oh and start reading Blood Meridian as well. Ick. Damn English major.

And also Happy Groundhog Day and happy anniversary to my mom and step-dad! Woo!

So it’s about 2:30 in the morning, and since it’s college, I’m in the middle of doing laundry. I could be almost done except that our washers and dryers like to be constantly broken, so, you could put clothes in the washer and have it not run…*cough*. Always good. I don’t care, I’m going to bed within an hour I’ve decided.

I’ve been sick for the past couple days and it has been horrible. Ugh. Thanks weather for fucking with my immune system. I’m getting better now, finally, so that is a very good thing. Although that also means I’ve had to start going to class again and that was not a very good thing. Classes are going fairly well so far I suppose; I don’t know I haven’t put in that much work yet. Eek. Probably not a good thing. Oh I had to see my dad and stepmonster the other day; that was…interesting.

But what I’m currently thinking about is how stupid and petty people my age are. Not all of them, no, but a good chunk, and it annoys the hell out of me. There are people that I could be friends with, at least acquaintances because we have more in common than they seem to realize, but because they are petty and childish they will never speak to me. It makes me upset that people will hold grudges against former friends for stupid reasons like a shitty relationship that broke up and now no one is allowed to talk to that person. What’s the point?! Especially if you’re now happy/in love with the new person you’re dating. And when over a year has passed too. It just boggles my mind. The sad part is this applies to two entirely separate couples/groups of people.

I wish I could speak this to you directly, but unfortunately I’ve never met two of you, and I would like to. At the very least to say “Hi, this is me, I’m not completely evil, you aren’t completely evil, let’s sit and have civilized conversation about the topics we have in common which, surprisingly, are quite a few.” Is that too much to ask out of 19/20 year olds? I don’t think so. Why must everything be a fight or lead to a neverending grudge or just be dragged through the mud like we’re all back in middle school? I’m his GIRLFRIEND, not the “drunk girl who’s always in his room,” not some girl he sleeps with secretly, not any other juvenile term that makes you feel better about yourself. Don’t make people stop talking to someone because you broke up and had a bad relationship. Shit happens; you find someone better for you. And you have! As he has too! So accept it and get over yourself.

In short, some people just need to grow the fuck up.

And I know I’m not completely grown up myself, but having been in a similar situation, I’ve come out stronger, I don’t hold a grudge and if the two people I used to hate showed up I could talk to them in a civilized manner and be fine. Yes, it took a while, but I’m fine now. I learned from my horrible experience and I grew from it. I don’t look back in anger anymore. I have the most wonderful person in my life now, and I appreciate him more because of what happened before. I don’t hate anyone involved, despite what they may think. Life’s too short; what’s the point in being pissed off at someone over something that happened a while ago? Especially something that led, eventually, to the betterment of your life?! Realize that you learned an important lesson and start. growing. up.

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to say this stuff.

At 3:30 pm today, the world lost a very talented and beautiful actor, person, father to drugs.

How weird is it that 12 days ago I posted about how much I adored him and now…he’s gone? I just can’t get over it.

R.I.P. Heath Ledger. I can’t believe it. <3

I feel as though my blog has become me just posting pictures of cute guys and discussing why I adore them, which is semi-true, but this time I do believe I have a point/purpose for doing so! A friend of mine, Joe, asked some of my friends and I, if we could bring back any band to watch perform in concert, who would we pick? His top choice was The Who, and while I agreed, my original choice was The Beatles. Then, after 10 seconds of contemplation, I changed it to The Doors, after Jim Morrison had gotten over his paralyzing stage fright and actually faced the audience while he sang. And yes, this choice does relate to how gorgeous that man was, and a small hope that maybe he would expose himself on-stage during this resurrection concert. And while he did perform without a shirt on quite often, you have to admit, the man had style.

LOOK at those PANTS! I would wear those if I could find a pair that looked that amazing on me. And the belt and the shirt, that pose… I just love the whole “I’m a sexy rockstar from the 60s” look, I suppose. And if anyone can find me a jacket like this one, please let me know. I would rock it every. single. day.

Hell, if anyone can resurrect Jim Morrison for me, please, please do so. It would be greatly appreciated. Although my mom and my sister would probably kill me in order to have him for themselves. Oh well, I’m sure he’d have no problem being shared among three women. In fact, it probably wouldn’t be the first time that had happened to him. People did crazy shit in the sixties.

Welp, I’m back at college, a night earlier than I’m technically “allowed” to be in the dorms (shhh don’t tell on me). I wish I could take pictures of my room or the clothes I managed to snag out of my attic but unfortunately, we found out on Christmas that my camera is broken. Not good. But I managed to snag some old turquoise/greenish pumps from my room that I had in a shoe drawer (yes, drawer) and somehow forgotten about. I’m going to have to start rocking heels for no reason. A Google search found no shoes that looked similar enough to show.

Nothing really interesting to talk about, except how I’m now, just now (because I’m very behind the times) listening to The Dandy Warhols. Why didn’t I before?! The real Warhol is one of my favorite artists; I’m not quite sure why I didn’t listen to a band named after him, of course it’s going to be awesome. Perhaps I’m lacking in the Common Sense department? Well, if you also seem to be behind the times, I highly recommend checking them out. Adam Brody is an endorser, even if he didn’t realize it at the time (first eleven seconds):

http://youtube.com/watch?v=uqwSE75y0TA

I really think I just like putting in pictures of hot Hollywood men I could never, ever date on my blog. It’s almost as if I know them… well, minus the whole I-met-Colin thing. Still! I’m sure no one really minds looking at pictures of gorgeous men.

I believe I need to address something here…

Even though I love Lucas wholeheartedly, if Colin Meloy asked me to have his children…. I would do it.

I know, he’s married and has his own babies… I would still do it. What can I say, I’m attracted to talent. If you don’t know who he is, he’s the lead singer for the band The Decemberists. I highly suggest you check them out, because they are probably the best band since the Beatles. In my humble opinion. Granted, I am biased because Lucas introduced me to them…. and then we met them… and Colin hit on me… shown below, moments after he asked me “So… how are you doing?” in a very Joey Tribianni-esque manner.

How was I? I think you know the answer.

(www.decemberists.com)

Yay! It’s 2008! I suppose 2007 wasn’t so bad… I got a Lucas, and did awesome this past semester in college, worked in a cafe and learned how to make my own espresso drinks (which is actually a really nice thing to know). I don’t make resolutions, I just try to be a better person. But one thing I’m going to try this year is to not be so negative about my life and my body. I’m trying to up my self-esteem, which is not an easy task. Granted it’s made slightly easier with a boyfriend who thinks you are beautiful and calls you “Belle,” I’d just really like to believe it for myself and not have to hear it to think it. I’m taking small steps already, such as getting my hair cut so I don’t freak out about that anymore, and I took out my nose ring because it just started to irritate me. Plus it seems like the cool new thing to do, and I did it for myself last November, not to be like everyone else…

I’m also on a mission to improve my wardrobe with fun little pieces. I’m on the lookout for red tights. I know I could order them from Target.com, I just prefer to buy my clothes and such in person. Yes, I’m a skeptic about ordering my clothes online, even if it’s just tights! Plus any other cute tights and such would be nice; I don’t know why I want them so bad. And I just realized that I have a ton of shoes that I didn’t bring to college that are in my room. Like a pair of turquoise mini-heels, and my pink shiny slip-ons with a little bow and the tiniest heel ever that I love. It’s just not easy to wear those in Buffalo winters… Oh well. Right now it looks like spring outside anyway, minus the ridiculous wind.

Oh! and Monday marks the official one year anniversary of Lucas and I. Weird. But in a good way. And on a random note, I watched 10 Things I Hate About You today, and remembered why I’ve always had a huge crush on Heath Ledger…

…and why I’m super excited for The Dark Knight this summer. That and I’m a huuuuuge Batman lover. Maybe it’s the leather, or the fact that Batman is just amazing. Let’s go with a combination of both.

Is it still wrong if I find him incredibly attractive even as The Joker? Don’t judge me, he is beautiful.